Wednesday, October 8, 2008

This Should Help...

Click to enlarge. Save as Wallpaper. Use with Caution.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

Russell the Raptor

Click the pic to Enlarge... the pic.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fly Delta.

On our way up to Atlanta, Helen and I stopped in at the MINI dealership to see what they had on the lot. We found this marketing wonder in the back waiting for service.

Friday, August 8, 2008




Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing PRADA shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

This is how the iPod ends.

Well it's gone. I tried to revive it multiple times, slapping it and rapidly compressing the buttons as if performing electronic CPR while tearfully shouting, "Not on my watch!". But now I have to face the music, or lack there's gone.

The picture above shows what I think caused it's untimely death. I blame you IRONMAN.

Now I'm left with questions, should I get a new iPod touch? Is it worth the $500 price tag? Do I really need to carry my entire music catalog with me wherever I go? Will my wife let me?

My first iPod,
November 2006 - July 2008